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SubscribeInterbike '07: Bike Snob NYC edition
Tue, 10/02/2007 - 8:18pm by alex
I took some shots at the show that I thought would annoy Bike Snob NYC, and whaddaya know, it worked! So without further ado, we're honored to present a special cameo appearance by the man himself, Bike Snob NYC!
I didn’t attend Interbike this year. Consequently, I was unable to experience the unbridled thrill of seeing the various bike manufacturers’ revolutionary new decal designs a few weeks before they appear in stores. However, the guys at VelocityNation were kind enough to share some photos with me. Judging from these examples, I think I was better off staying here in New York, where if I want to see stupidity on wheels I can just go to the park.
This new Felt is a watershed moment in fixed-gear bicycles. In fact, the high water mark of dorkitude previously set by Specialized’s city-edition Langsters has now been submerged by this Katrina of a bike. Sure, the fixed-gear thing has been jumping the shark for years now, but this bike is ballerina in an argyle tutu flying gracefully over a Great White in an exquisitely-executed arabesque. This is probably the first adult bike to be shipped with a top tube pad. If you’re unfamiliar with the top tube pad phenomenon, it’s basically a hybrid of a doggie sweater and a bumper badger. Also, the nose-down saddle is the flat-brim 45-degree hat tilt of the cycling world, and Felt has done its homework by pre-tilting this one. Look for people to start rolling up at the local alleycats on these things soon. “Hey, guys. Can I play too?”
If you consider a polo shirt, capris, and canvas boat shoes to be proper cycling attire, then you probably either own or aspire to own a pair of powdercoated Velocity rims. Colored Velocitys are to fixed-gear bikes what Ksyriums are to road bikes—de rigeur, excessive, and ugly. As such, it’s surprising Mavic haven’t followed suit by offering powdercoated versions of the CXP33. I suppose they’re counting on the roadies who will doubtless ditch their Ksyriums in droves in order to buy their new crap-tastic R-Sys wagon wheel. Velocity, however, will continue to offer their rims in a whole M&Mesqe spectrum of colors. I hear the green ones make you horny. I don’t know if it’s true, but I do know that pretty much all of them make me angry.
But what good are colored rims if they don’t match your drivetrain? Sugino knows that fixed-gear riders’ unquenchable thirst for cheap beer and snug trousers is rivaled only by their adolescent girl-like obsession with color-coordination and accessorizing. These candy-colored cranks are anodized to get you notice-ized. Because posing should never be monochromatic. And the carpet should always match the drapes.
And it doesn’t stop there! Be sure to wrap that chainring in one of these. I mean, really, what’s on your chain? Lube?!?
But let’s face it. Dressing your bike like a Bratz doll isn’t for everybody--especially if you’re pushing middle-age. That’s when you start coveting a different kind of crotch candy. If you’ve found yourself spending a lot of time at work toggling between browser windows containing convertible sports cars with automatic transmissions and naked women half your age, chances are you’re also in the market for a BMC. But there’s a price for riding three laps in Central Park on a Sunday afternoon and looking like a clueless dilettante with more money than sense—and that price is apparently $17,995.
Another cutting-edge product from Vision for the half-shirt Bento Box crowd. This would also be a fine addition to your new BMC. If you’re anything like me, you’re thinking, “Please, for the love of God, tell me that’s a set of aerobars and not a saddle.” The VelocityNation guys were also able to snap a photo of the bar’s designer, who seemed friendly but agitated:
And hey, Interbike isn’t just about fondling the latest models. (Or about fondling bike stuff.) It’s also about spotting the next trend. And with the fixed-gear craze yesterday’s news, everybody’s wondering what the next hot bike will be. I’ve put forth a few possibilities in the past , and it looks like at least one designer agrees with me that the BMX could be the bikecessory of the future. Seems like a good bet. One gear? Check. Top tube pad? Check. An easily-surfable wave of 80s nostalgia? Check. That settles it. Look for nü-BMXes to begin cluttering the bike rooms of Brooklyn’s overpriced condo developments in ‘08. (And to be for sale on Craigslist for near-full MSRP in ’09.)
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Add a commentDear oh dear,what a bitter and twisted lot you are
With the Boomers hitting 60 and their knees all shot from jogging and high impact aerobics, I predict that singlespeed or SA/Nexus bikes will be the next craze. That Ahearne Mixte and Retrotec cruisers have pricetags to interest the yuppies and nobody expects you to go fast on one.
In fact, Shimano's new Alfine gruppo has anticipated this so I'm behind the curve.
Snob nails it, but misses the best reason to go to Interbike: For well-to-do middle-aged guys to mooch free stuff for their teams because, well, they have the *top Cat 4 squad in Indiana!*
I second the BMX prediction. All style, no utility. It's a sure bet. In two years, Mag wheels will be the new Deep-V's.
I second the BMX prediction. All style, no utility. It's a sure bet. In two years, Mag wheels will be the new Deep-V's.
The proper collective noun for a multitude of hipsters is officially known as a 'fixie'.
As in, "Last night I couldn't find a single damned can of Pabst's Blue Ribbon because a 'fixie of hipsters' from Williamsburg had bought out the whole store."
I had a small sarcasm in my leg during a recent race.
A Kuota Sarcasm at R&A
you the only one who heard of it.
did you guys not get that this is sarcasm? have you heard of sarcasm?
Schmaltz, you guys need a better manager, did you see the pic of Sheldon Brown's suite in Vegas............i think his entire bathroom was Campy Record
I enjoyed your report, so I've added a link from my own Interbike report at http://sheldonbrown.com/lasvegas/2007
Hope this isn't coming in multiple times, seems like there may be a bug in the software. I entered it but don't see the comment on the blog. I'll try one more time. (FWIW, I'm running Safari 3.0.3)
I enjoyed your report, so I've added a link from my own Interbike report at http://sheldonbrown.com/lasvegas/2007
I enjoyed your report, so I've added a link from my own Interbike report at http://sheldonbrown.com/lasvegas/2007
WHAT'S COOL/WHAT'S NOT/WHITE TAPE/BLACK TAPE/FIXED GEAR/TRACK BIKE/LANCE/EDDY/CAMPY/SHIMANO/RICH GUYS/POOR GUYS/CADENCE/CRITICAL MASS/ BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! -- IT'S THE SAME SHIT, DIFFERENT WHEELS -- RIDE YER BIKE!
Brilliant
hah
Contador, we have a spot for you. Free kit and 10% off bike tune-ups. You in? We need a climber.
BSNYC is like Entertainment Tonite or Access Hollywood.
Any new teams for 08? Whos staying and whos going?
too bad felt did not put an alternating link blue and gold chain on that bike... so sweet.
Um, I don't understand top tube pads. What are they supposed to be for? Are they for protecting the top tube? Or are they for protecting the rider FROM the top tube? I wanna be able to mock them too, but you have to understand something before you can ridicule it. Ditto on the nose down saddle. Can someone tell me if its a fashion thing or a function thing? You know, are the hipsters trying to be cool by running very negative stem angles, so they have to point the saddle down, or is nose down a fashion statement in and of itself? Help me out here.
Also, shouldn't this bike have flip-n-clips with white and orange argyle bar tape? Doesn't the basic flat bar come dangerously close to common sense?
Confession: I have an NJS chain on my fixed gear bike. Does that make me an unhip hipster?
"Sugino knows that fixed-gear riders
"Sugino knows that fixed-gear riders
"this bike is ballerina in an argyle tutu flying gracefully over a Great White in an exquisitely-executed arabesque"
great!
That Retrovelo brown bike is not a BMX bike -- 26" wheels and the Schlumpf 2 speed planetary gear crankset.
That Retrovelo brown bike is not a BMX bike -- 26" wheels and the Schlumpf 2 speed planetary gear crankset.
Shut the F**k up and ride, you idiots!!
let's face it - fixies were cool, before trustafarians and then yuppies started riding them around town (i am guilty of this). But back when Kevin Bacon was starring in Quicksilver, they were cool. When searching for someone to blame for this, we should look ourselves in the mirror!
And we should apologize to the hipsters, who will now have to ride around BMX bikes because their fixies have been appropriated by the man!
They couldn't even put toe clips on the damn thing? WHY NOT?
I think Felt has unfortunately hit the water mark on having their finger on the pulse... for shame. Just imagine the atrocity of attempting to do something cool like a unique fixed gear bike in their line... losers.
most road races would do well to pick up some bmx skills
that bmx actually looks pretty fun. just saying.
...be advised, por vida...although bsnyc has crossed over to toto territory, we don't want to see what's back behind the curtain...
...certain illusions need to be kept sacred...
Gulla's back!
I timed myself today
to see how much I read
this oddly compelling site.
It won't increase my speed.
I click on the refresh
200 times per day.
It's the same old sh*t again,
and yet I read it anyway.
What have I become?
It's plain to see.
I post instead of train.
I'm a permanent cat 3.
Maybe I'd be fast,
if I went outside.
When you're glued to your computer,
makes it hard to ride.
i said it b4 ill say it again, BSNYC i want to see YOUR BIKES. ps you are totally right about BMX..
http://www.fecalface.com/SF/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=40...
...he'd have a show called "What Not To Ride". Awesome, congrats, BSNYC for president!
BSNYC has gone above and beyond with this one. The reason he and his blog is so immensely popular is because he is the voice of sanity in the bike world that becomes more insane as years roll by.
Im a bit disappointed these things will be shipping with brakes as it will slightly reduce the chance of seeing one lodged under a car. Do you think they will offer one with a coaster brake for the snobbier hipsters? What about anodizing/ tt pad color options? Lastly, can I get it with a gear ratio so low that I cant go over 5mph? Cause you know, I plan on taking the brakes off.
Im a bit disappointed these things will be shipping with brakes as it will slightly reduce the chance of seeing one lodged under a car. Do you think they will offer one with a coaster brake for the snobbier hipsters? What about anodizing/ tt pad color options? Lastly, can I get it with a gear ratio so low that I cant go over 5mph? Cause you know, I plan on taking the brakes off.
Im a bit disappointed these things will be shipping with brakes as it will slightly reduce the chance of seeing one lodged under a car. Do you think they will offer one with a coaster brake for the snobbier hipsters? What about anodizing/ tt pad color options? Lastly, can I get it with a gear ratio so low that I cant go over 5mph? Cause you know, I plan on taking the brakes off.
When dismounting the bike in cyclocross, I have always been told to disengage my left pedal in advance and have it disengaged as you ride into the barrier/run-up. Is this what the pros do or do they ride clipped in and disengage as they jump off the bike? Will I go blind or grow hair on my hands if I don't disengage in advance? I'm looking for guidance here, I need to look pro.
BellaCroix,
You're right, I suck. But then again, had I chosen to bludgeon the "Back to the Future" references I would have denied you the pleasure of pointing that out.
--BSNYC
No comment on the $18000 time machine? I mean really, you already had Christopher Lloyd but missed mentioning there was a Time Machine for sale? Nothing about a flux capacitor? You're slipping dude!
BSNYC - always funny.
Would like to see him take on himself. He's so anti-hipster he's the ultimate hipster.
"fixed-gear riders
May be on to something there - since the hipsters seem to set their fixed gear bikes up in uncomfortable configurations, it would seem evolutionarily logical to get a bike that can never be comfortable to ride. Unless you are an adult with 20" long legs.
Sure there mat be some revolutaniary thing every once in a while at Interbike, but this about sums it up.
"I didn
Very nice. Encore!
Hillarious! Brilliant!!
whoa, it left me speechless
With the Boomers hitting 60 and their knees all shot from jogging and high impact aerobics, I predict that singlespeed or SA/Nexus bikes will be the next craze. That Ahearne Mixte and Retrotec cruisers have pricetags to interest the yuppies and nobody expects you to go fast on one.
In fact, Shimano's new Alfine gruppo has anticipated this so I'm behind the curve.
Snob nails it, but misses the best reason to go to Interbike: For well-to-do middle-aged guys to mooch free stuff for their teams because, well, they have the *top Cat 4 squad in Indiana!*
I second the BMX prediction. All style, no utility. It's a sure bet. In two years, Mag wheels will be the new Deep-V's.
I second the BMX prediction. All style, no utility. It's a sure bet. In two years, Mag wheels will be the new Deep-V's.
The proper collective noun for a multitude of hipsters is officially known as a 'fixie'.
As in, "Last night I couldn't find a single damned can of Pabst's Blue Ribbon because a 'fixie of hipsters' from Williamsburg had bought out the whole store."
I had a small sarcasm in my leg during a recent race.
A Kuota Sarcasm at R&A
you the only one who heard of it.
did you guys not get that this is sarcasm? have you heard of sarcasm?
Schmaltz, you guys need a better manager, did you see the pic of Sheldon Brown's suite in Vegas............i think his entire bathroom was Campy Record
I enjoyed your report, so I've added a link from my own Interbike report at http://sheldonbrown.com/lasvegas/2007
Hope this isn't coming in multiple times, seems like there may be a bug in the software. I entered it but don't see the comment on the blog. I'll try one more time. (FWIW, I'm running Safari 3.0.3)
I enjoyed your report, so I've added a link from my own Interbike report at http://sheldonbrown.com/lasvegas/2007
I enjoyed your report, so I've added a link from my own Interbike report at http://sheldonbrown.com/lasvegas/2007
WHAT'S COOL/WHAT'S NOT/WHITE TAPE/BLACK TAPE/FIXED GEAR/TRACK BIKE/LANCE/EDDY/CAMPY/SHIMANO/RICH GUYS/POOR GUYS/CADENCE/CRITICAL MASS/ BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! -- IT'S THE SAME SHIT, DIFFERENT WHEELS -- RIDE YER BIKE!
Brilliant
hah
Contador, we have a spot for you. Free kit and 10% off bike tune-ups. You in? We need a climber.
BSNYC is like Entertainment Tonite or Access Hollywood.
Any new teams for 08? Whos staying and whos going?
too bad felt did not put an alternating link blue and gold chain on that bike... so sweet.
Um, I don't understand top tube pads. What are they supposed to be for? Are they for protecting the top tube? Or are they for protecting the rider FROM the top tube? I wanna be able to mock them too, but you have to understand something before you can ridicule it. Ditto on the nose down saddle. Can someone tell me if its a fashion thing or a function thing? You know, are the hipsters trying to be cool by running very negative stem angles, so they have to point the saddle down, or is nose down a fashion statement in and of itself? Help me out here.
Also, shouldn't this bike have flip-n-clips with white and orange argyle bar tape? Doesn't the basic flat bar come dangerously close to common sense?
Confession: I have an NJS chain on my fixed gear bike. Does that make me an unhip hipster?
That Retrovelo brown bike is not a BMX bike -- 26" wheels and the Schlumpf 2 speed planetary gear crankset.
That Retrovelo brown bike is not a BMX bike -- 26" wheels and the Schlumpf 2 speed planetary gear crankset.
Shut the F**k up and ride, you idiots!!
let's face it - fixies were cool, before trustafarians and then yuppies started riding them around town (i am guilty of this). But back when Kevin Bacon was starring in Quicksilver, they were cool. When searching for someone to blame for this, we should look ourselves in the mirror!
And we should apologize to the hipsters, who will now have to ride around BMX bikes because their fixies have been appropriated by the man!
They couldn't even put toe clips on the damn thing? WHY NOT?
I think Felt has unfortunately hit the water mark on having their finger on the pulse... for shame. Just imagine the atrocity of attempting to do something cool like a unique fixed gear bike in their line... losers.
most road races would do well to pick up some bmx skills
that bmx actually looks pretty fun. just saying.
...be advised, por vida...although bsnyc has crossed over to toto territory, we don't want to see what's back behind the curtain...
...certain illusions need to be kept sacred...
I timed myself today
to see how much I read
this oddly compelling site.
It won't increase my speed.
I click on the refresh
200 times per day.
It's the same old sh*t again,
and yet I read it anyway.
What have I become?
It's plain to see.
I post instead of train.
I'm a permanent cat 3.
Maybe I'd be fast,
if I went outside.
When you're glued to your computer,
makes it hard to ride.
i said it b4 ill say it again, BSNYC i want to see YOUR BIKES. ps you are totally right about BMX..
http://www.fecalface.com/SF/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=40...
...he'd have a show called "What Not To Ride". Awesome, congrats, BSNYC for president!
BSNYC has gone above and beyond with this one. The reason he and his blog is so immensely popular is because he is the voice of sanity in the bike world that becomes more insane as years roll by.
Im a bit disappointed these things will be shipping with brakes as it will slightly reduce the chance of seeing one lodged under a car. Do you think they will offer one with a coaster brake for the snobbier hipsters? What about anodizing/ tt pad color options? Lastly, can I get it with a gear ratio so low that I cant go over 5mph? Cause you know, I plan on taking the brakes off.
Im a bit disappointed these things will be shipping with brakes as it will slightly reduce the chance of seeing one lodged under a car. Do you think they will offer one with a coaster brake for the snobbier hipsters? What about anodizing/ tt pad color options? Lastly, can I get it with a gear ratio so low that I cant go over 5mph? Cause you know, I plan on taking the brakes off.
Im a bit disappointed these things will be shipping with brakes as it will slightly reduce the chance of seeing one lodged under a car. Do you think they will offer one with a coaster brake for the snobbier hipsters? What about anodizing/ tt pad color options? Lastly, can I get it with a gear ratio so low that I cant go over 5mph? Cause you know, I plan on taking the brakes off.
When dismounting the bike in cyclocross, I have always been told to disengage my left pedal in advance and have it disengaged as you ride into the barrier/run-up. Is this what the pros do or do they ride clipped in and disengage as they jump off the bike? Will I go blind or grow hair on my hands if I don't disengage in advance? I'm looking for guidance here, I need to look pro.
BellaCroix,
You're right, I suck. But then again, had I chosen to bludgeon the "Back to the Future" references I would have denied you the pleasure of pointing that out.
--BSNYC
No comment on the $18000 time machine? I mean really, you already had Christopher Lloyd but missed mentioning there was a Time Machine for sale? Nothing about a flux capacitor? You're slipping dude!
BSNYC - always funny.
Would like to see him take on himself. He's so anti-hipster he's the ultimate hipster.
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